She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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