whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
