Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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