Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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