i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
pop tarts are not kleenex
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
