I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
