Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
