Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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