I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
