I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
