yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
