I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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