I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
