did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
