She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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