I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
