Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
