You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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