All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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