For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
