so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
