Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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