She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
