wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
