I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
