I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
