her vagine was all disorganized.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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