i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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