i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
