Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
