This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
