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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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