i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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