Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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