I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
