Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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