I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
