We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
