She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
