Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
