Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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