i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
