I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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