I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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