haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
