i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
