Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
