His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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