Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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