these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
