He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
