What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
