DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
