I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
